Break

I suppose I haven't written for so long because the last few months have been difficult. I did not qualify for disability and my husband is starting a new business. We have had no income for 16 months. I try to think up a new life for myself every day. All the while thinking this is good enough. I am lucky to be alive. I have movement restored to my right side, with a few minor glitches. I do need to reach out and start over again.

I am taking my youngest to a garden store with a lovely Koi pond. It is blustery and his two friends have never been. After that we will go the outdoor space at the library and play on the pretend boat. Yesterday we bicycled all over town, stopping at the Fred Meyer mid-way for mozarella sticks for the boys. I am trying to embrace my poverty, not let my boys feel like they are losing out by not skiing in Le Biarritz this spring break.

Spring Break

The wind blows the cypresses

The pines

And the giant locust tree.

The Magnolia Stellata

Shoots its stars in the

Quivering breeze.

I have weeds pulled up in

One bed, the lumpen piles line the

Stones of the patio.

Chickweed in the buffalo grass,

Dandelion tufted beneath the olive,

Something that looks like morning glory

Holds sway over the bamboo.

There will be time to make everything perfect.

Day lilies green spears have flopped

Into riotous tufts beneath the teenaged spokes

Of the Something Chinensis, bare and knobby.

The weeds call and call.

The garden will wait.

I have two boys who won’t.

It’s time to sow and sow.